That song on the radio “it’s too late to apologizeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, yeah, yeah,” by Timbaland, keeps playing in my head like a broken record.

 

Recently, after a decade and a half (but hey who’s counting) I facebooked an old friend, seeking his advice and help. How excited I was by his acceptance, it would be fun to catch up. I have found myself in the midst of a midlife crises, trying to redefine my washed up housewife ways.  Over the last year, I have been reviewing my life and the choices I have made. Most of the choices, I am happy with and actually quite proud of. But there has always been one path, untraveled …that has recently begun to gnaw at me.

 

In my twenties I had an opportunity to be teacher’s aide for a friend who was a coach/teacher. At the time, I was dating my now husband. Too much excitement must have purred from my lips when I went to tell him about my volunteer work, that understandably, my now husband was not as keen about my opportunity. Oh, did I forget to mention, the history teacher/coach I was going to be assisting, I had met in a bar a year prior and had quite a thing for?..details… details …

 

Of course, all of you ladies know what decision I was faced with and what a twenty something unsure of herself opted to do. Silently I slipped away, and never followed through on a prospect which may have lead me down a completely different road.

 

Fast forward to present day. For a few short days, the coach and I spoke via e-mail. He offered me invaluable advice on how to begin reentering the workforce. At the same time, I was pleasantly surprised he wasn’t just a dumb jock, but was rather smart and had a witty writing style.

 

As they say, history repeats itself. My husband whom has free access to my e-mail account, I have never had anything to hide, was perusing my mail. Yet again, there must have been too much enthusiasm spilling from my e-mails, you can guess the rest. This time not an immature post pubescent teen, I was faced with making the same decision I had done so previously, but this time as a grown woman. 

 

Well the ex teacher/coach took the high road and apologized for any wrong doing and assumed all the blame. Of course it was not his fault, I know that. I felt so awful for putting him through such drama. I assumed we would continue to stay connected not by e-mail, but by following each other’s Facebook profile and blogs. So later that day I found myself checking my e-mails and Facebook, just to find out I was UNFACEBOOKED. Is this possible? I have never heard of a friendship breakup via Facebook. Of course there had to be a first and it was me! My friends dropped from 26 to 25 that day and my heart sunk even further. So how does that song go…it’s too late to apologizeeeee…yeah, yeah…..